Parenting Debates and R. Kelly (not related)

by Roo on February 27, 2014

in reading material

Each week, I compile a small list of things I’ve written (not here, elsewhere), read, or watched. And as a disclaimer, some of the things I link to may contain NSFW language.

updated-reading-material

writing

- Scratch or Sniff is launched for real, and this post is in response to a Huffington Post article that ruffled a lot of feathers. Including mine.

- Mila Kunis fan? She’s the new face of Jim Beam. You know, the bourbon? Really! Check out her new ads.

- “Hey strangers, my family is not incomplete without a son” over at BabyCenter. Lottttts of interesting comments. One or two angry emails. Whatever, dude. Get off me.

reading

- Why Mom’s Time is Different From Dad’s Time over on the WSJ. Really interesting article showing why five hours outside of the home doesn’t necessarily equal five hours inside of the home. Jack and I have had this discussion before, and my comment is usually, “Hey, when you have to go to the bathroom at work, does anyone knock and yell or poke their fingers underneath the door?” Which is a joke, but then again it’s not. If you take a peek at this article, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it. Lots of fiery discussion on it all over the interwebs.

- Brad’s intro to our joint DietBet. A lot of you *love* these things and find them highly motivating. (As a group, in the last DietBet I hosted with my friend Kristen, we collectively lost over 2,000 pounds.) People keep asking me to host them, and I’m glad to, but I can’t (and won’t) devote a blog post a month to DietBet hustling, so this month I teamed up with Brad, all-around cool guy, who has the deets over on his blog. :)

watchingJimmy Fallon doing a barbershop quarter cover of R. Kelly’s Ignition Remix? 2003, hollaaaaa. And it sounds entirely less sketchy without R. Kelly singing it.

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When I’m not NFing, you can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and sometimes on my kitchen counter eating pizza out of the box like an animal. See you tomorrow for TIHIF!

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Rebecca February 27, 2014 at 11:30 am

Dare I say my favorite type of post along with TIHIF?? Thanks! Also, your video has been taken down already. :-(

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Rebecca February 27, 2014 at 11:31 am

Ooooor not? Weird. I clicked and it said I couldn’t watch it,and now I can.

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Elizabeth J. February 27, 2014 at 11:58 am

I really liked the article Why Mom’s Time is Different From Dad’s Time. I totally agree with that first part lol. The bedtime routine can be so consuming and exhausting at the end of a long day.
I work part-time (32-36 hours a week) out of the home and my husband works full-time. I know he works hard and I truly appreciate everything he does and so I try really hard to not nag him when I feel like he’s not doing anything and i’m doing everything. But sometimes we get into this vicious cycle: I get so so mad when I feel like he’s not doing anything but instead of saying anything, I just let it simmer until it completely boils over and i blow a gasket. Then he gets mad at me because he says that if i need help, I should tell him; then i reply that he should know this stuff by now and I shouldn’t have to ask him to do every little thing cause then i feel like i’m nagging. We can go around and around like this. We are finally getting to a point where we’re both better about telling/doing. He has really started pitching in a lot more and I make sure I tell him that I appreciate it.
Our difference in perception is so funny- he can look around the house and see barely anything that needs to get done and I’ll look around and see a million different things that need to be done. He’ll sit on the couch while i’m puttering around and ask me “what in the world are you doing?” And I’m like “seriously??” Haha! It can be so frustrating if I let it but I’m slowly learning to accept that we are just truly created differently.
Sorry for this looong comment…i just really liked that article…it made me feel a little more validated if that makes any sense.

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Elizabeth J. February 27, 2014 at 12:01 pm

BTW I looove Jimmy Fallon :-)

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Kati February 27, 2014 at 2:30 pm

You seriously just described the same conversation that my husband and I have! He says the same thing, “You just need to ask for help.” Umm…nobody asks me to clean the toilet or mop the floor, but somehow I know that it needs to be done so I just do it! It’s not rocket science buddy! lol :)

Recently, I came up with a list of everything that needs to be done cleaning wise in our house (broke out daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, annually) and posted it to the side of our fridge. I told him that now no one needs to be *asked* to do anything, because we both know what needs to be done. I think seeing it all in one place like that made him realize just how much I was trying to do on my own and has motivated him to help out more. When both parents are working full time, like we are, it’s only reasonable that the work at home be broken up equally! :)

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Elizabeth J. February 27, 2014 at 2:49 pm

That is such a great idea! I think I might try to do that. I think it would even be a good visual for me :-) And its good to know that I’m not the only one having these conversations lol

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Joanna February 28, 2014 at 4:50 pm

You just made me feel so much better!! I thought it was just my husband and I (or my husband) but nope! After a blow-up Monday (aka me blowing my gasket) things have been going smoother but it really is a cycle. I hate feeling like I have to “tell” him to do stuff and he hates I won’t until I’m about to blow-up. It is true though, women see a lot of stuff to be done while men see nothing.

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Haley February 27, 2014 at 12:48 pm

I’ve been stalking your blog for well over a year now and this is only the second time I’ve commented… #creeper
I really enjoyed reading these articles, especially the one about gender. I don’t have children (and won’t for a while), but this really made me think! Also, I looooovvveeee the Jimmy Fallon cover!
*bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce*

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Emily February 27, 2014 at 2:31 pm

Will Jimmy Fallon ever have an off-night? No, the answer is no, he won’t. Thank goodness.

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Sarah February 27, 2014 at 3:03 pm

The “Why Mom’s Time is Different From Dad’s Time” article totally spoke to me….now how to bring it up to my husband? I work 40+ hours a week (away from home), drop off our son, pick up our son, hit the door running, dinner, laundry, calming a screaming (hungry) baby. My husband finally arrives and the TV is immediately turned on, “I just need to unwind.” UNWIND!! He really is a huge help, like I know it could be much worse…but I felt a calm come over, because I can truly feel the peace of washing the dishes while he bathes our son. So so so much more in the article also spoke to me, but I will stop chatting your ear off!

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Lesley February 27, 2014 at 4:06 pm

The article about Mom Time/Dad Time was interesting, I didn’t bother going into the comments there as I know how toxic they can get in those open forums… NF feels safer even when there are disagreements.

Anyway, I am the employed for income parent in our family and my husband is the employed for free parent. I always find it interesting that the Mom stays at home and Dad goes to work paradigm that is covered in these articles persists when so many families don’t fall into that construct. Even when both parents work outside the home or do like I do, the male and female perception of what parenting involves is inherently different. I mistakenly presumed that we would execute a nice swap as compared to the original Nuclear family, I call it ‘reverse traditional’ for lack of a better term or a thesaurus, but when it comes down to it my husband has the same requirements of child care that men who work out of the home have – they are fed, went to school and are alive, it’s all good! The fact that I have other work that requires my time 50-60 hours a week does not mean I don’t think that part of parenting still includes presentable kids, tidy house, nutritious meal planning, RSVPs to birthday parties, hand written thank you notes for gifts, rooms that you can find things in, home baked birthday cakes, and regular educational extra curricular activities. But that’s on me – if I want that, I either do it or specifically lay out what I want done for me/on my behalf. No, he’s not just going to pick up and do it, it’s not part of at least my husband’s requirements. It took me 5 years to figure that out.

I think the last statement is really what applies to all situations, because when it comes down to it men and women are different.

So what, you may ask, did calm the mothers?
Simple: Seeing their husbands make a bigger effort to reduce the pandemonium in the house.

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Natasha February 27, 2014 at 4:12 pm

Ohhh sheeeeeet that’s my jam! And now I will be singing the rest of the day.
That mom/dad article was on point, hubby (thank goodness) is realllly good at realizing that. We work really hard to communicate, and text each other lotsa kissy face emojis. He works is a pretty high stress environment, so we’re good at bouncing our daily stressors off each other and talking through it. (Me, the 20mo refused to nap and the 4yomis bouncing off the walls cuz it’s 20 below out and him dealing with jerks)
Confession: I pretty much just read you and Betsy Shaw and Joyce Slaton on babycenter, but I troll the rest juuuust for the comment section. Sheer entertainment value.

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Rachel McCoy February 27, 2014 at 5:08 pm

The WSJ article is very interesting. My husband recently got on me about taking on too much and not delegating enough to him/give up control on some things. I think sometimes as a woman and mom I feel the need to do it all and survey it all re: the kids because well, I’m the mom. That’s what moms do. But I’ve been learning lately that I have to just let some stuff go and let him do the kid thing his way, even if it’s not the way I would do it. Anyway, I’m not sure if that’s related but that article made me think of that.

Also, this is unrelated but I am not sure where to send it. If you are ever in need of GIF ideas for TIHIF Fridays, here’s one: I need one for when the store clerk asks me when my baby is due, and I’m not pregnant but instead pushing the baby stroller with my 2 month old inside. Um, what?? How did you miss the huge stroller and baby and go right for the gestational inquiry?? I just smiled and said oh he’s right here IN THE STROLLER. People are so weird! Anyway, I wasn’t sure if you take ideas for those things or have a hard time coming up with them but I just thought of it.

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Allison February 28, 2014 at 12:05 pm

Man. Jimmy Fallon. Just killin’ it.

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