Ballers of History: Abraham Lincoln

bad drawings

I haven’t written a Ballers of History post in a year and a half.  YEAR AND A HALF!  But, it keeps coming up and, you know, I’m a people pleaser except for when it comes to country music (haters to the left), so here’s another long overdue installment of….



It’s a way to get in touch with our world’s rich history, although my disclaimer is that I make a lot of junk up.  Don’t use me as a reference on your history midterm paper, crazy high school student.  Don’t use me or wikipedia.  OR MAYBE USE BOTH.  I don’t know.  I’m not the boss of you.

I particularly love United States History, and I’m extremely pumped for the November release of the movie Lincoln.  If you couldn’t guess based on the title, it’s an action film about robots invading North Korea.  : : pause : :

Okay, yeah, it’s about Abraham Lincoln.  Awesome life; tragic ending.  Most of us know this guy pretty well.  So, some fun facts about Abe that you may not have known:

1) Abraham Lincoln was the first President to be born outside of the thirteen original colonies.  He hailed from what is now LaRue County, Kentucky.  Nevermind that stuffy East Coast.  Kentucky, represent!



2) [Edited because Reddit schooled me]: Kennedy’s secretary’s name was Lincoln.  Both Lincoln and Kennedy’s Vice Presidents were named Johnson.  Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.  Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.  Lincoln was elected as President in 1860.  Kennedy was elected as President in 1960.  DUN DUN dunnnn.


(Who’s that guy?  That’s this guy.)

3) Lincoln’s son was seeing Lucy Hale while she was engaged to John Wilkes Booth.  YO THAT IS SO MESSED UP.



4) Lincoln’s most controversial opinion was that he opposed slavery.  He once invited Frederick Douglass – abolitionist and former slave – to the inaugural reception.  Douglass was stopped at the door by policemen, even though he said Lincoln invited him.  A messenger bolted in, found Lincoln and told him what was going on.  Lincoln glided to the front, and all but shouted, “Here comes my friend Douglass.”  Grabbed him by the hand and led him into the party.  Fighting segregation.  LIKE A SIR.




5) Lincoln almost DIED when he was kicked in the head by a horse.



Abe Lincoln.  What a boss.


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  • Reply Amy September 6, 2012 at 10:56 pm

    Such a boss he made it into a movie with vampires, too. Busy man.

    • Reply Roo September 6, 2012 at 11:08 pm

      “Twitter be crazy.” – Abraham Lincoln

  • Reply Caryn September 6, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    All through high school and college my teachers were all, “don’t use wikipedia. it’s not a good source. it’s full of lies and is edited by people who want people to guess the vice presidential candidate!”

    Now I’m in grad school. Week 3. My teacher goes, “find information for your assignment on wikipedia.” I was all, ………… the last 8 years have been a lie?!?

    That’s my story for you. I think yours was probably better. But, moral: wikipedia may not be so bad.

    • Reply Mandi September 6, 2012 at 11:56 pm

      I totally had a professor in undergrad tell me that wikipedia is more accurate than a printed encyclopedia because the information is more up-to-date due to its editability (yeah, I just made up a word.)

      • Reply Roo September 7, 2012 at 9:04 am

        Ha! That’s awesome.

    • Reply Roo September 7, 2012 at 9:05 am

      Yeah, just like EVERYONE needs an advanced math class because we’ll use it later on in life.

      I haven’t had to find the sine, cosine, or tangent of anything. EVERRRRR.

  • Reply Nikki Kelly September 6, 2012 at 11:19 pm

    Omg! Have you ever watched the Drunken History short (funny or die) ABOUT President Lincon and Fredric Douglas? It stars Will Ferrell
    and Don Cheadle. I will totally look for a link real quick.

    • Reply Nikki Kelly September 6, 2012 at 11:27 pm

      Ok, here’s the link.
      It’s hilarious, also if I were a high school student I would totally use your ballers of history posts as references on my paper. Who says that kids can’t be ridiculous and hilarious. My girlfriend Jenna’s son, Ryan, is currently writing a fictional story for one of his classes about Lazercats. Yep.

      Nikki Kelly (crazy cat lady that is trying to convert you)

      • Reply Roo September 7, 2012 at 9:06 am

        Hahahahahahaha. Oh man, that was ridiculous.

      • Reply Lindsay September 7, 2012 at 12:15 pm

        THAT was awesome!

  • Reply Lauren September 6, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    6) Honest Abe is related to Pat McBride. Which means he’s now related to Lauren McBride. BOOYA.

    • Reply Roo September 7, 2012 at 9:02 am

      I read that he has no direct descendants. Is it on Pat’s Latino side?

  • Reply Natasha September 6, 2012 at 11:42 pm

    I totally think you should write history books.

    • Reply Roo September 7, 2012 at 9:01 am

      I’m pretty sure I’d get sued by… everyone.

  • Reply Jessica September 7, 2012 at 12:08 am

    lol LIKE A SIR got me so bad.

    • Reply Roo September 7, 2012 at 8:51 am

      Hahahaha, Jessica. AND HE WAS!

  • Reply sandy@sinsationallyme. September 7, 2012 at 1:46 am

    Love your illustrations! Abe and the horse made me laugh so hard, water came out mah nose. Totally worth it.

    • Reply Roo September 7, 2012 at 8:54 am

      Nooooo that sounds painful!

  • Reply Naomi September 7, 2012 at 7:31 am

    I will never forget how to spell Lincoln, thanks to Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. “That’s L-I-N O-L-N.”

  • Reply Naomi September 7, 2012 at 7:32 am

    Comment completely removed the emphasis on the *C* …made me look like I really don’t know how to spell that word! haha!

    • Reply Roo September 7, 2012 at 9:02 am

      Ahahahaha. I was like, wait. Bill and Ted did you a great disservice.

    • Reply Roo September 7, 2012 at 6:24 pm

      That’s some impressive hair!

  • Reply polymathamy September 7, 2012 at 10:01 am

    Just wanted to stop by and say hi from Kentucky!

  • Reply Jen @ Cuddles & Chaos September 7, 2012 at 11:22 am

    Like a sir got me too.

    Also, I can’t stop wondering if Mary Todd folded Abe’s underwear.

  • Reply Megan September 7, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    I love the horse! My horse doodles are all jealous of his actually-horse-looking head. And if I had pinterest, I would pin the little heart guy. So sad, so cute.

  • Reply Beverly {Flamingo Toes} September 7, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    Oooh – I’ve missed these!!
    Though I see nothing here about his secret life as a vampire hunter.

  • Reply Ingrid September 7, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    i love ballers of history and honest abe. thanks for bringing ballers back!

  • Reply drea September 7, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    I read your blog religiously, but never comment (which is terrible, because I know bloggers love comments! I blame the fact that I read from my phone and am too lazy to comment). I have to say, though, your little drawings make me insanely happy! I keep trying to imitate your stick figures for notes in my kid’s lunch, and mine look awful. You need to have some sort of stick figure tutorial!! Please! Or just give me a private tute via email. :D

  • Reply coralie September 7, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    I would just like to say that your take on history is more fun than any of my classes ever were. :D

  • Reply How to Keep Your Kids’ Room Clean, Stay Sane, and Look Really Cool Doing It | {NiceGirlNotes} | {NiceGirlNotes} September 10, 2012 at 10:58 am

    […]  Why surprising?  I don’t know.  Because I blog about stupid stuff like stick figure Abraham Lincoln and being scared of wildlife and wearing culottes.  Not parent-y stuff.  Not usually, […]

  • Reply Jennifer September 10, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    Abe was definitely a baller.

  • Reply Sarah September 10, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    Love your blog! You’re hilarious. One question. Are your daughters really named Rembot and Sharky? Cool names either way, I’ve just never heard anything like it. =]

  • Reply Tara E September 11, 2012 at 11:32 pm

    YES! These are my faves! These and anything with the stick figure drawings.

    LIKE A SIR. Love it.

  • Reply Kelly September 14, 2012 at 10:47 am

    I want to be your friend.

    That is all.

  • Reply Kat September 14, 2012 at 11:16 am

    Amazing! I love this series. Lets get a gal up in here next. (Should that be hyphenated? Up-in-here? Humm…) Eleanor Roosevelt?

    • Reply Roo November 9, 2012 at 4:33 am

      Oooh Eleanor Roosevelt. Top notch lady right there.

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  • Reply YoungWoo Joh April 23, 2013 at 11:04 pm

    For the record, Lincoln did not have a secretary named Kennedy.


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